


And Knew That I'd Do The Same

by FactorialRabbits



Series: The Miles To Go Before We Sleep [2]
Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: 'you know how the splitting up of the twins was a tragedy? well what about if you made it worse?', Angst, Elrond's Abandonment Issues, Family, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, elrond has issues, so does elros but they're less apparent, the choice of the peredhel, unhealthy amounts of siblingly inter-dependance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2019-11-15
Packaged: 2021-01-31 09:34:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21444061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FactorialRabbits/pseuds/FactorialRabbits
Summary: Elrond knows exactly what his brother's choice will be, and is very glad it means they will never be permanently sundered.(Now, if only Elros had told the truth)
Relationships: Elrond Peredhel & Elros Tar-Minyatur
Series: The Miles To Go Before We Sleep [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1290266
Comments: 7
Kudos: 50





	And Knew That I'd Do The Same

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I found this on a stickynote, and it looked finished, so I ran a spellcheck and here's some pain.  
There's notes with it for expanding, but who knows if I'll ever get to it. TLDR: this is the last time the twins ever see each other, because by the time Elrond has calmed down, Elros is gone over the sea.
> 
> I have so many angsty songs for this. A selection: Always Gold (Radical Face -from which the title comes. There's a long bit in the endnotes I couldn't bring myself to not put somewhere - the last 6 lines of the song), Welcome Home, Son (also Radical Face), In Exchange (Torres - the chorus is basically perfect but verses less so), Brother (Kodaline). If you want more angsty family music feel free to ask.
> 
> Seriously, though, go find the first song. It... has a lot of feels for how I write these twins, those which is which is up for debate. Also every lyric is a gold mine and over half could title this tiny fic.

Elrond stood, hand in hand with Elros. It had been days since Eonwë had approached them to explain their choice, and they had discussed it between them every waking hour. Now there was to be no more discussion; the Maia had summoned them forth to confirm their choices.

He did not listen as Eonwë spoke, too concerned with mentally equipping himself to reply when the time came.

It was not as though Eonwë was doing anything less than repeating himself, and Elrond needed the help to form the words.

They had discussed it long and hard, and even Elros had agreed that an elf seemed like the better thing to be; they knew elves, they understood what elves wanted. Mortals were odd and strange and, most importantly, when they died were separated forever. The suggestion of ever being apart from his twin tore Elrond apart, but the idea there would be no rebirth, no reunion... It made him feel faint, sickened even. Though, if Elros had wanted to be mortal... Well, Elrond would go with him, and just ensure they died the same day.

But he had not, so all could be well again, and they would have all the time in the universe.

The moment came to speak and, satisfied that he knew what would occur, Elrond opened his mouth to reply.

'Eldar' he had intended to say, but the word froze in his throat as Elros spoke.

"Edain," they had started speaking together, but the word was ever so different.

For a long moment Elrond stood frozen, horrified, mind a swirling pit of possibilities and every part of him screaming betrayal.

"Your choices are made. Farewell, sons of Eärendil," Eonwë gave them a small bow, before shifting form and disappearing into the sky. Just like-

It was the trigger that Elrond needed to move. He turned to his brother, eyes somehow dry despite the terror and grief and boiling rage in his heart. He could feel his face morph through emotion after emotion, not caring for which it settled on so long as it did not lead to tears.

"Do not look upon me so," Elros' voice was strained, maybe with emotion, maybe with exhaustion, maybe with the death he had invited to himself. "I am sorry for my deception, but not my choice; I could not let what I intended to do influence you..."

Elrond's voice was also strained, but instead with the effort of keeping back tears. He barely made a whisper, and cared not to stop the venom blackening his heart from infesting every word.Or, maybe it was the rotting flesh left by everyone as they abandoned him, coming up to choke his throat and words and everything, "you have lied to me. You have deceived me. You have betrayed me... You hate me."

"Elrond... Please do not cry," Elros seemed almost afraid of Elrond's tears and sorrow-filled anger. "I do not hate you; how could I hate you. Just... I am not supposed to be immortal. The very concept of it sits incorrectly in my mind, it crawls up my spine and sits there twisting, crafting itself into a foul abomination. But I see how you speak, I see what you fear; you do not have to follow me, you should make the choice that would bring you joy."

Elrond squeezed his brother's hand, nails digging into the flesh, almost as though it could anchor his twin back to the world. He surpressed a sob with a deep breath, then spoke louder and icily cold, "if you had told me, I would have chosen to stay mortal with you."

"I do not think you would be good at that," Elros' words seemed to Elrond almost joking, before they fell to serious once again. "I did not do this to hurt you, I swear. Only to protect you from yourself. Only because I love you."

"You will leave me. Just like everyone else. You shall sail away with the men, as father, and you shall leave me behind, as mother, and you will die, as Maedhros," Elrond's voice was deathly blank, not a single emotion breaking through. "You will grow old and die and I will never see you again. You have torn us apart, and we will be apart forever. You are leaving me, and leaving me alone, and I will be here forever, and we will never be together again. What use is love, if you are not here to give it? What good is love in this decrepid, broken world, where you will die and I will be left without half my soul? What use it is? Curse love, curse joy, let only the rot of this world remain, for you have chosen to die, and there is nothing left."

"It is not as though I will die tomorrow, Elrond. We still have some time; I am not leaving you alone, not yet, we will work it out."

Elrond's tears fingers dug tighter into his brother's hand. He could see Elros pale, the broken smile disappearing from his face in a yelp of pain, but did not care. All his mind continued to scream betrayal, claws in his chest burrowing ever deeper as it saught to rip open his lungs. "You promised you would not leave me, that I was half of your heart and soul, that we would always be together. And now you are; you are no better than them. Worse, even. At least mother did not choose to abandon us."

"That is not fair, Elrond. Please... Just... I am mortal now, and there is no changing it, just as you are elven. I am sorry for decieving you... But you had to make your own choice, not just take mine. We both know it "

"You are sorry!" Elrond's voice broke into a scream, tears wrestling themselves free of his eyes, as he tore his hand away from his brother's, his twin's blood settled deep into his fingernails. Ignoring the truth in the words, and everything else. Pain, blood, make him hurt as he hurt him. Bitter blood between them. "You are abandoning me as well, and all you can apologise for is lying to me?! I would rather die than be alone again!"

"Elrond, please-"

He did not wait for Elros' desperate words; Elrond turned on his heel, and fled.

**Author's Note:**

> _And I heard you say_  
_Right when you left that day_  
_Does everything go away?_  
_Yeah, everything goes away._  
  
_But I'm going to be here 'til forever_  
_So just call when you're around._  
~Always Gold, Radical Face


End file.
